Grace For Healing
Trauma-Informed Christian Counselling

If you’re a Christian, you’re the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, yet we don’t always understand how our beliefs from childhood can counter this Truth. 

This is part 4 of my series on The Healing of the Man Lowered through the Roof and it follows on from WHY OUR FILTHY RAGS MAY HINDER HEALING

Today we look at ways in which we can support ourselves from the filthy rags which hinder our relationship with the Lord (and His healing) and adopt our true identity, as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. 

The greater revelation of our identity, the more likely we are to be free from self-righteousness. 

Our identity is our position and It’s black and white, there is no grey. Yet the process of integration is a lifelong revelatory journey in my opinion.

 

THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS

 

When Jesus died for us, he carried our sins and sickness – our old man. In exchange, He gave us His robe of Righteousness to wear. 

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him

2 Cor 5 21

It is a gift with no strings attached. 

“Forgiveness, blessings, favour, healing, wholeness, peace…” It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it?

 

CHILDHOOD PROGRAMMING

 

According to Cell biologist Bruce Lipton, 95% of our behaviour is subconscious programming from our childhoods. 

Our wiring takes place in the first few years of life. The child is subjected to their environment – parents, culture and society, family dynamics…

As the child develops, he unconsciously represses his authenticity in favour of perceived accepting behaviours to the world around him.

He may hear toxic messages from caregivers or develop faulty belief systems concerning himself, others and the world. 

In addition, any encountered stress or trauma contributes to how he shows up in the world.

Once we receive salvation, our position changes and we become the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, yet our default behaviour remains. 

I often say in this blog, that our healing is a journey back to who we are –  the person God saw when he laid the foundation of the world. 

Part of our default programming is our tendency to be self-righteous. This makes sense because, before Jesus, we had no other righteousness so were completely self-sufficient. 

Self-righteousness is so sneaky, in that we don’t know we’re being self-righteous at the time because we think we’re right! 

It’s no secret that Jesus thought self-righteousness was the worst sin of all – He would rather sit with the tax collectors and the sinners, than the self-righteousness. 

Why? – because it devalues Jesus and takes Him completely out of the picture. We need Him more than air. 

The Pharisees and religious leaders were present when Jesus healed the paralysed man who was lowered through the roof.

Jesus wanted to heal them too, but only the paralysed man got healed.

So how can we break free from the binds of our self-righteousness and embrace our true identity as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus?

I’ve put together some suggestions, that help me in this area. 

 

1. RECEIVE THE LOVE OF GOD

 

Just because someone is a Christian, doesn’t mean they know God’s love. Meditating on the verses that speak of His love is the priority. 

Faith works through love. (Not the love we have for each other, but His love). Even if you read your bible every day and know verses by heart, if you don’t know Jesus loves you then there is no empowerment. 

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love. Eph. 3:14.

Not knowing God’s love, includes those people who outwardly do all the right things, but the heart is far from God. They are image-conscious. So growing in God’s love will hopefully turn this around. 

All of a sudden you want to honour God and spend time with Him out of love, response and desire, not duty or obligation. 

We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

One activity I do most nights is I reflect on the day and ask myself ‘How has God shown His love for me today’ 

This is a little like a gratitude list, attributing those glimmers and blessings to the One who provided them. 

We want to rewire our brains to notice His goodness. 

Take a look at Zephaniah 3:17, Jeremiah 31:3, John 3:16, 1 John 4:16

 

2. OWN YOUR IDENTITY

 

You and I are now not sinners (even though we sin). We are children of God, the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. 

If you think you’re still a sinner, you’re identifying yourself with your old man.

We are victors, more than conquerors.

The more we own our identity, the more we behave like Jesus who didn’t condemn or criticise others (Even though He is always right).

He was never superior, looking down His nose at others. 

We are empowered to love others and forgive them, seeing the non-Christians as ‘sheep without a shepherd’. 

For those in the Kingdom, they are Brothers and Sisters in Christ or Saints.

God calls us to see each other through that lens, the lens of our spiritual identity, and not our flaws, personalities or marital status. 

When we know our identity we step out of the drama triangle because we see our fellow man as an equal. 

See John 1:12, Romans 15:7, 1 Cor 6:17, 1 Joh 3:1-2

 

3. THE SKILL OF EQUALISING 

 

The Pharisees assumed the position of superiority, waiting for Jesus to trip up. When we find fault with others, we’re basically putting ourselves on a pedestal. 

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think…

Rom 12:3

Even when we’re helping someone, are we doing it from a place of superiority? Treating people as projects that need to be fixed. 

Or perhaps the opposite is true, we see others as better than us

When we learn the skill of equalising, we see each other as equals regardless of role, rank, money, status, age, disability….

We start to recognise which Life Position we’re operating from and choose to step out of any unhealthy ones into the ‘I AM OK. YOU ARE OK’ position.

Whilst we don’t want to be sin-conscious, we don’t want to assume that we never mess up or make mistakes. This goes for those behaviour traits that may plague us like anxiety or low self-worth.

I think it’s healthy to remember that ‘we all have sinned and fall short’. This equalises our wrong-doings and when we’re aware of our vulnerabilities we are less likely to judge others. 

My church pastor said that ‘we are more likely to judge the sin we’re least likely to commit’’.

Some sins are more glaring than others. Given the same set of circumstances, who knows what my behaviour would be like. 

One of the reasons I hate watching the News is because I feel it breeds condemnation. The moment someone is accused of a crime, his name and photo are broadcast to the public. 

We judge and form opinions based on what we’re told, even though we’ve never met the person in question. 

 

4. LEARN TO LISTEN

 

It’s common that most people listen to respond and which makes them the subject and not the person they’re listening to. Worse still, they hear through the lens of their own worlds without adopting the other person’s point of reference.

When we do this, we take the truth away from the person we’re supposedly listening to which is damaging. It’s OK for someone to do things differently, to make different choices and to think different thoughts. 

You may not like it or agree, but this doesn’t mean they are wrong. Not allowing people to own their truth and to shut people down isn’t love. 

Allowing people freedom is an act of humility.

Joyce Meyer once said in a teaching, the one thing she’s learnt, is to never voice her opinion. (I wonder whether she may have been referring to opinions about other people.). Why do we feel the need to make our voices heard? 

When we do this, we are coming from a place of grandiosity.  

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pro 18:2

Of course, this doesn’t mean we don’t stand up for what is Truth where it is appropriate, but I would say only with wisdom and shed loads of empathy. 

But insisting we’re right and winning the argument is sometimes a coping strategy to manage low self-worth, or we piously think we’re doing God’s will. 

Neither of these reflect our righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, those who are hesitant to voice opinions at the best of times (because of fear or people-pleasing type coping strategies), take opportunities to be confident in voicing opinions without shrinking back.

See THE HEALING OF BARTIMAEUS. LET GO OF PEOPLE PLEASING. 

 

5. GROWING IN EMPATHY

 

When Jesus ministered to an individual, He treated them as though they were the only person in the world. 

Often we have empathy for others when we identify with their situation. However, the Bible asks us to ‘carry each other’s burdens’ and ‘when one person hurts we all hurt’.

This means putting ourselves in the shoes of the other person, even if we have no experience of it without trying to fix, offer an opinion or make a judgement. 

I find it so hurtful when someone devalues my experience because it’s not life-threatening and in their opinion, others are worse off. 

When we attune to others, they feel seen and heard.

Remembering Jesus died for that person is helpful. If Jesus is willing to go to such lengths for them, they must be worthy of our time, attention etc. 

How do we grow in this? I would say practice, practice, practice.

According to Strengthsfinder, empathy is a strength which we can all grow, even if it’s not our top strength. 

We can develop a compassionate and empathic muscle, just like any other muscle. 

 

6. ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET

 

Knowing that you are still growing in all areas, and you haven’t arrived as yet, fosters an ‘I don’t know it all’ type belief. 

You are more likely to listen to those with differences to expand your understanding, compared to the closed limited mindset that won’t take on board any thoughts outside our narrow thinking. 

If you’re in a Church, there are opportunities to get to know people who are different to you. Different in age, life experiences, culture and background. 

Embracing a growth mindset means we welcome feedback without offence or wounding. When we’re self-righteous, we can’t take criticism because we think we’re ‘perfect’.

We’re less likely to feel threatened by others as we see their success as inspiration.

 

7. SELF COMPASSION

 

Growing in self-compassion will help those of us that are struggling with low self-worth which is also a symptom of self-righteousness because it’s all about self.

Listening to the inner critic, or internal Pharisee, condemning and accusing us. 

The more our revelation that we are the righteousness of God in Christ is, the more we love ourselves and give ourselves grace.

Learning to say no to people, being ok with disappointing others and seeing the best in us, can be challenging for someone who is a recovering people-pleaser. 

Recognising our strengths, not comparing ourselves to others and developing our understanding of how God sees us has been quite a journey. the righteousness of god in Christ Jesus

IMAGE CREDIT

Of course, understanding more of God’s love and forgiveness empowers us to love ourselves and others. If anyone judges or condemns us, we are more in a position to stick up for ourselves rather than shrink back. 

Try meditating on 1 John 4:17, Philippians 1:6, Isaiah 41:10

How do you grow in self-compassion?

I hope the past couple of posts support you in recognising areas where you may be operating from a place of self-righteousness and how to begin loosening it’s hold.

Owning our identity allows us the space to enter into God’s rest. It says in Hebrews 4:11

“Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest”

I think this means that we’re meant to consciously enter into God’s rest, it won’t just happen automatically because human fleshiness is our natural default.

See WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF A SABBATH HEALING?

If this post was supportive for you, please take a read of other articles in the series of The Man Lowered through the Roof.

JESUS SAW THEIR FAITH (PT 2)

WHY GODLY FRIENDS ARE CRUCIAL FOR HEALING (PT 1)

In categories: Healing Miracles in the Bible, MindBody Connection