Grace For Healing
God wants you well
job's three friends

Job’s infamous friends; we’ve all got them. You know, those ‘helpful’ Chrisitians who tell you what you’ve done wrong in your life to cause sickness. 

Then read on as I share some of my experiences and offer some top tips.

I had a woman in my life, who screened me for all my ‘shortcomings’. In her opinion, healing and obedience go hand in hand. ‘If God’s perfect, the problem is with you…’

It was wounding.

Are there Job’s friends in your world?

As was the case with Job’s friends, there can be an element of truth in people’s comments, but when those comments are out of context, said without wisdom, God’s timing or Holy Spirit guidance, a lot of damage can be done.

 

JOB’S FRIENDS BLAMED JOB

 

Because I was suffering with symptoms, I felt I couldn’t argue. Job’s friends were exactly the same. They wrongly assumed because they were healthy, then they must be right and Job in the wrong. They came from a place of comparison and superiority.

Job’s friend Eliphaz tells him in Job 4:7 who ever perished being innocent His friend Bildad also tells Job his sin caused his suffering  ‭‭in Job 8 and finally Job’s friend Zophar in chapter 11, tells him that his misfortunes are down to his ‘iniquity and wickedness’ 

Job needed love and empathy but unfortunately he endured criticism and judgment.

Job’s friends seem to believe the karmic ‘do bad, get bad’ type belief system. This doesn’t add up to me. There are plenty of people out there living ungodly lives yet they never get sick.

Has anyone ever blamed you for your illness? I’m so sorry if they have; you are not alone.

 

JOB’S FRIENDS SPOKE DEATH

 

The Bible teaches that LIFE AND DEATH IS IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE. Pro 18:21

You know if someone is speaking truth and life because of the way it feels. Is it life-giving or is it condemning? Speaking the Word of God is only life-giving when in context. 

The Bible is healing, uplifting and encouraging. It leads us, offers us wisdom and even chastises us. But when taken out of context, the opposite can happen; in fact, it can be traumatic.

This is what is happening when Job’s friends speak to him as they’re applying the Word inaccurately.

I remember a ‘friend’ telling me that ‘The Bible says you have to be happy…’ I was grieving and I could not have been more crushed at her words. 

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH COMFORTERS

 

1. HEAR THE HOLY SPIRIT YOURSELF

 

If someone tells you why you’re not healed, what needs to change, what sin is hindering you etc etc, you will instantly know if it’s right and from God, because it will match what the Holy Spirit has already spoken to you in intimacy. 

That is why hearing the Holy Spirit for yourself is a priority. 

I was in a church once and the pastor said my pain condition was caused by self-hatred, self-rejection and guilt. I knew instantly that this was correct and from God. 

I’ve had other experiences where people have played ‘hunt the sin’ and they’ve been completely off track. These are the modern day Job’s friends. 

God leads you from within, one step at a time. He doesn’t give you a long list of all the things that aren’t right. 

 

2. CHOOSE THE RIGHT FRIENDS

 

The phrases you may hear from Job’s friends are ‘well at least it’s not cancer’…’chin up it’s not that bad’…or ’autistic people are worse off…’ are common and devalue our experience. They are a form of judgement. 

The wisdom I’ve learnt is this:

It’s not always wise to share your hurts and pain with everyone. Telling the wrong people what’s going on with you invites opinion, comparison and judgment.

You only need a few faith filled friends on your journey and that’s all; trying to force someone to understand just doesn’t work. 

 

3. LEARN TO PUT IN A BOUNDARY

 

I’m growing in my boundary placing – something I never really learned to do; I find sticking up for myself difficult. As I grow in the area of self-love, I’m finding my voice a bit more.

  • Know it’s ok to tell people their words are hurtful if necessary.
  • It’s also ok to suggest friends to steer clear of the subject of your health.

Otherwise people will continue to think their words are helping and you’ll end up with an accumulation of hurt leading to resentment and anger (which isn’t good for your healing or wellbeing).

 

4. PRAY FOR YOUR FRIENDS

 

I love that Job prayed for his friends in the end. When Jesus hung on the cross and said ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing’, (Luke 23:34) it showed such grace, love and obedience to God.

Non of us have any right to hold onto unforgiveness. It’s wise to do a heart check to ensure you’re not holding onto any grudges.

What would your healing journey look like of you learned to listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying and leading you into? Who in your world is no longer serving you?

Who could you pray for today? I hope you have better friends surrounding you from this day forth. 

God Bless you today

Lorna x

If you haven’t already, have you read the other posts about Job?

THE ENEMY COMES TO KILL, STEAL AND DESTROY YOU

5 INVALUABLE LESSONS FROM JOB (JOB MADE SIMPLE)

 

In categories: The Healing Journey