If you’ve been chronically ill for a long time, you may be asking yourself “Where is God?……Has he forgotten me?” I remember asking myself these same questions. Watching everyone else live whilst my life had ‘stopped’. Praying and believing for breakthrough which just didn’t come…the months turned into years. Was God answering everyone else’s prayers? Why was He silent? The waiting caused as much hurt and confusion as the illness itself. Where was my healing?
I imagine you may be feeling similar? Do you feel as though you’re spectating life, watching everyone else live the abundant life whilst you’re struggling trying to survive as best you can. Maybe you also feeling robbed of the joy and pleasures you thought you’d experience. Have you ever cried “Where is God?” because God seems silent.
In this post I wanted to share with you why your healing is taking a long time to manifest…and it’s all good.
“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction”
WHERE IS GOD?
I had great anger at my situation, such bitterness that this had happened and started to resent those around me; angry at others for not understanding my pain. I had struggled to cope with the unfairness, the lack of joy and love leading to such loneliness and depression. It has continued for so many years, there is sometimes a part of me that believes God has forgotten me.
But here’s what I came to realise when journeying through; that these impurities were already on the inside of me, lying dormant. The season of illness produced a conducive environment for these impurities to come to the surface. They did not come about as a result of the illness as I originally thought.
God has not forgotten you or I. In fact, if you are calling out “God are you there?” or wondering where is God in your suffering and why the healing is taking so long, it’s because HE LOVES YOU.
You see we have conscious thoughts, but we also have unconscious ones. Caroline Leaf talks of bringing the unconscious realm into the conscious. These thoughts are then malleable and able to change. What’s revealed, can therefore be healed. Have you ever asked the Holy Spirit to show you your unconscious thoughts?
GOD DOES FAR MORE THAN DOCTORS
I wanted the quick fix; someone laying hands on me so I could see and feel the instant results. Often this isn’t God’s way. He wants you free from those areas that seek to destroy you. I’m sure you want doctors to fix you as well, to cure you from your symptoms.
But God does far more than doctors. He heals people, and as a result the body and it’s symptoms come into alignment with the Word of God. He does far more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20). We ask Him to heal, He makes us whole; a much longer process.
God wants us free from those impurities that are hidden deep inside us, they will cause us damage in the future. The wilderness season exposes them.
“…..These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, through your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
1 Pet 1:7
For gold to become pure, it goes through intense heat; the refiner’s fire. This is not a fire that outright destroys, but one that purifies. Your faith will see us through the fire victoriously, making faith more precious than gold.
What a comfort and encouragement to all who are suffering. The fire burns away impurities, until nothing but pure incorruptible gold remains. The darkness of the world can’t corrupt you when your faith has been tried and tested. The world now sees the beauty of Jesus Christ. How awesome
Our struggles are an opportunity to shine, a doorway to a new level of our destiny. Trials cause us to rise higher, to a new level and a new beginning. God doesn’t want those impurities holding us back from the great things he has in store.
So the next time you call out “God are you there?”, remember He is healing you on a much deeper level, and this is the wisdom of God’s delay.
Now here’s the catch: we have to co-operate. The idea is that we climb the mountain, and not just wander around it. If you’re in a season of illness right now, it doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll be purified. The decision is yours (and mine); are we willing to change? Will we allow God to do his work in our lives?
You never really know what’s in you, until you’re under pressure. Peter bragged that he would never deny Jesus, yet when under pressure he denied him 3 times.
You may be under pressure right now but just think of the beauty that will be revealed. Maybe you take offence easily or have a critical spirit? Do you worry a lot? hold onto grudges? Complain? Maybe you are impatient or have a negative outlook…..God wants to refine these areas. He wants to show you off to the world as the person he saw at the beginning of time.
I think it’s important to remember it’s not about ‘hunt the sin’, but about hidden programmed ways of thinking and being or the impact of trauma that God wants to heal to bring you to a greater level of freedom.
Maybe the area of refining is more subtle, like people-pleasing, perfectionism or a tendency to control. God is using this season of illness to sanctify you as these areas will hinder your future. Holding onto these areas when struggling is the easy option. They are programmed ways of thinking or learned behaviours which helped us cope when we were young, but they’re no longer helping us today.
VESSELS OF HONOUR
“So if anyone cleanses himself of what us unfit, he will be a vessel for honour; sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared for every good work.”
2 Tim 2:21
Wow… we are now vessels of honour. This isn’t a cleansing that God does whilst we sit and wait passively, we co-operate. What a privilege for God to consider us useful and well prepared for a greater level of expansion; to be who he has called us to be and do what he has called us to do.
So my friend, imagine a world where no-one called out “God are you there?” A world where we had assurance and a trust in His goodness to work behind the scenes, restoring every inch of us back to our original design. Our God doesn’t heal the bird with the broken wing, He creates a whole new bird. How beautiful.
Which area or impurity can you allow God to change today? What’s God saying to you about this and how can you seek change in this area?
Have a good rest of the day
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