If you’ve been wandering in the wilderness for a long time, you’re probably confused as to why the healing is taking so long? “Where is God? Has he forgotten me?” I remember asking myself these same questions.

“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction”. Is 48:10

I had great anger at my situation, such bitterness that this had happened and started to resent those around me; angry at others for not understanding my pain.  I struggled to cope with the unfairness, the lack of joy and love leading to such loneliness and depression. But here’s what I realised; that these impurities were already on the inside of me, lying dormant. The season of illness produced a conducive environment for these impurities to come to the surface. The did not come about as a result of the illness as I originally thought. (more…)

We crave connection and to be understood. It starts when we connect with our mothers the moment we’re held for the very first time. This gives acceptance, love and security. When illness happens though, we sense the lack of understanding by others so this connection

Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem to be important to you. C.G Jung

We also feel different because we can no longer join in with ‘life’; the activities we once enjoyed with others have now stopped and it feels like the whole world is going on without us.


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To be content in life has little to do with external circumstances, but rather our internal belief system. When we’re in a wilderness season, it’s easy to focus on what isn’t right, the pain we’re in or how great our life used to be. We feel justified for being unhappy because we’re suffering, as though we’re entitled. All this leads to even more discontent and misery!

Surely it’s normal to be unhappy when illness strikes? Isn’t misery expected  when an illness has continued for such a long time?! (more…)

Elpis hope, or Bible hope is  “joyful, confident, certain expectation of good,”  based on the blood of Jesus, this means it’s automatically ours. Yay! Doesn’t this fill us with such security for our healing?

But there’s often a problem. What we’re hoping for is impossible. We wait, and wait, and wait….months, years, even decades!! Over the course of time we give up believing that we’ll ever be well again. The pain continues, the symptoms persist…..deep down we accept that things will never change and we tolerate. (more…)